Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
