found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
