I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
