so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Randomize
