kristin has been a bad kristin
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
