Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
