On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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