garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
