You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
