worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
