Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Can Purell be used as lube?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
