If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
A bitchslap is in order.
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