just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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