I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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