Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
