I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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