I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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