I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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