Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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