i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
