I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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