Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
