Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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