Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
