You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
True strength comes from lack of pants
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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