In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
