I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
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