a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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