tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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