The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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