So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You're like the curious george of whores
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
