I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
