At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
