I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
