thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
