This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
