I think I am morally bankrupt
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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