There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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