We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
