Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
