How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
