So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
