she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
