Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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