For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
