Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
