Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Randomize
