my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
