Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We left the knife in your bed.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
