Will you blow on my dice?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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